Excerpt from A Love Affair With Cancer

"In the background a voice shouted my name and it was my turn to see the Consultant for my treatment. I sluggishly dragged my feet into the consulting room to be faced by Dr. Sheppard who was a pleasant enough chap; it was just that I didn’t feel very much like being pleasant knowing what it was that I was there for. He reminded me of Jerry Lewis in the starring role of the film ‘The Nutty Professor’ dressed in his long white coat, he had his glasses perched on the end of his nose and he peered over the top of them at me, a slight overbite he frowned as he stood along side me as I lay on the couch, his feet were clad in open toed sandals. Following a brief chat, he would twist his face up just as the ‘Nutty Professor’ did in the movie. Then following a physical examination, he tells me that my bloods are satisfactory, the lumps in my neck and axilla have started to go down and that the next treatment will be going ahead as planned.

Then, although it sticks in the back of my throat I bravely ask the question that I’m dreading the answer to, ‘Am I going to get better from this?’ Now I cannot remember his exact words; come to think of it I do not recall any of his words, only my interpretation of his narrative and I think looking back his answer was what is commonly referred to as spin, also called bullshit. What I do remember is that I was none the wiser following his response. But then perhaps I didn’t want to know and I decided to allow fate to take its course. In my opinion, what I didn’t know could not hurt me and therefore, I did not pursue it any further."



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